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It Hurts So Much

June 1, 2020 by Jacqui King

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV) 


Today, I prayed, I cried, and I talked to God.  I asked, “Lord what do you want me to do with what I am seeing?”

In the midst of it all, I called out the names of the persons killed over the last 21 days by hate and brutality.  

Today, I prayed, I cried, and I talked with the Lord.  I asked, “Jesus what do you want me to do with what I am feeling?”

In the midst of it all, I prayed with many people and invited them to pray as we called out their names.

Today, I prayed, I cried, talked with the Holy Spirit, and walked around the block to catch my breath.  As I thanked God for the breath of life, the tears rolled down my face and my heart pounded.

I asked, “Holy Spirit what do you want me to do with what I am hearing, how I am feeling, and what I am really seeing?”

In the midst of my prayers and tears, I could hear my grandmother’s voice saying, “Baby you are seeing, feeling, and hearing the pains of brokenness all around you.  Hmmmm….Yes, it hurts so much.”  

I rise from my tears to say that we are called to continue being God’s church right where we are.  Act Justly. Love Mercifully. Walk Humbly. 

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

     And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

     and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

Today, I invite you to two practices for your prayers and your tears, your mercy and your justice.

1. Develop and pray your breath prayer.

2. Learn about and sing hymns.


Jacqui King serves as the Director of US Connectional Relationships with Discipleship Ministries of The United Methodist Church

For a growing list of resources for the spiritual work of overcoming racism, click here.


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I could not have found The Upper Room Moments of Prayer (on Facebook Live) sooner. For it is during these moments of centering spiritual practices, meditating on the words of scripture, praying with and for the world, that I find moments of transcendence, hear whispers of peace and hope, see glimpses of truth and justice, behold visions of love and beauty amid all the stark realities that are around me.”

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