Mrjdh, I am praying for you
Dear MrJDH, Ask Lord Jesus the Christ to become your Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9-11). Surrender your heart to Jesus. Confess your sins to him and ask for forgiveness. Through Jesus's blood, your faith in him and in the gospel, and God's and Jesus's grace, you can be saved. Once you're saved, the Holy Spirit can help you to repent and gradually go through a transformation process, so that you'll become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). You might want to talk to a pastor at a Bible-teaching church about salvation and repentance. In Jesus's name, I pray.
Mrjdh, I am praying for you