JCGLK, I am praying for you. I want you to know that when you ask Jesus to come into your life he will forgive you of all of your sins past and present. The bible says he draws near to those who have a contrite heart. Draw close to him and ask for forgiveness then find a local church and attend it to learn about Jesus and fellowship with believers. Jesus will ease your burdens and throw your sins in the sea of forgetfulness.