The Christian God certainly didn't help my life or situation. I don't believe in Him anymore, and He worked very hard to earn that. I wouldn't put my worries on Him, and I have to caution you against doing that. You deserve better. Find a God who really cares about you. Who is actually trustworthy and you could depend on. I don't know if God is what you want to find. You might also find a philosophy that deeply convicts you. Or some kind of spiritual teaching that allows for the supernatural, but leaves religion out of it. In other words, if you want a spiritual element in your life, you can probably find that without the Christian religion. There are other places to look. Some people are spiritual without being religious. The point is I wouldn't put much stock in the Christian God. I am speaking from personal experience. I found Him to be ultimately untrustworthy and a complete waste of time. He made my life spiritually and morally worse, not better. In the end, my life collapsed because of it. There is something better out there for you, and I hope that you find it. You deserve better than what the Christian God can offer. Everyone does.
Roland0, I am praying for you
Roland0, I am praying for you