VictorG, I am praying for you, Remember all of life's challenges are lessons. God will never take you to something that he isn't right there with you taking you through it. Don't loose the faith believe you will come out on the other end. He will never take you to make things better for your family, loosing you will not make things better. Talk to someone about your dark feelings. Maybe someone at church or your pastor, a problem shared is a problem halved. God bless you, continue to pray.