MommaJulie, I am praying for you
I hope that your son finds help, but he doesn't need to look for it in the Christian religion. I have personal experience with that religion myself. Believe me, it is not a good thing. I have 20 years of experience in what I am speaking about. They have led me to this honest opinion. Brighter days can be ahead for you. But you both need to find another spiritual tradition besides Christianity. There are many others in this world to choose from. You and your son don't have to be chained to the Christian religion for the rest of your life. Please find something that can really help you. There are things out there, I promise. For a long time, I was afraid to leave Christianity, because I thought there was nothing else. But that is just not true. Since leaving the church, I have found that there are many other places in the world to find spiritual hope, contrary to what they always taught me. And other ways to strengthen your character and other ways to get through life. You do not need to stay in the Christian church for the rest of your life. I hope that you and your son find something else that will guide you toward a better path. And that you find the hope and goodness you are seeking. It is out there, believe me.
Matthew 18:19 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. I will be praying in agreement with all of your prayers from now on.