angela0001, I am praying for you so hard. There was a time in my life that I had the same feelings. I was so unhappy and felt God had forsaken me. It is a terrible feeling, but honestly God brings us to our knees sometimes so when we climb out of the pit it is all the more beautiful. I know God loves you. I promise God loves you. I love you and don't even know you, God will not let you be in hell.
Things are not always as we desire, and it is easy to lose faith when we struggle through life. I pray you find a way forward, and have happiness and peace
angela0001, I am praying for you