Dear Dpinkyd, I pray that you will get on the right track spiritually, mentally, and emotionally with the divine help of Father God and Lord Jesus. And if you're saved and born again, the Holy Spirit can surely guide you and transform you. I encourage you to immerse yourself in the Bible daily and read the gospels and other Scriptures. It sounds like you need a trustworthy accountability partner from the Christian community who can offer moral support and encouragement. If you belong to a Christ-centered church, perhaps you can join a small group for Bible study or for prayers. These small groups can help you to stay on track with your Christian walk and to be accountable. Also, you might benefit from reading a short article on the gotquestions.org website titled "What should I look for in an accountability partner?" May all go well. In Jesus's name, I pray.
Dpinkyd, I am praying for you
I love the Lord. He heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. —Psalm 116:1-2