More From Hillary Allen

My devotion was written over 2 years ago. Since that time there has been prompt after prompt to translate these words from my head knowledge into my heart and live this out in daily experience. Close family bereavements were followed by a personal diagnosis of cancer, just prior to the UK national lockdown in March 2020. Time and again, I have had to cry out for God’s help. I experienced isolation and loneliness, plus physical pain and challenges in coping with daily life as well as an unknown future. It was a time in England when everyone found the situation difficult and grim. People had emotional and practical needs, and they were depressed and needed support. I tended to keep my feelings to myself as I didn’t want to burden others who were also struggling. We were all in uncharted waters. 

I began to volunteer for a Christian helpline and various conversations resulted in highlighting how when we call out God responds and meets us in our need. 

I had been writing Christian poetry in a notebook for a few years, reflecting on experiences and situations and how God could speak in these. However the UK lockdown enabled my creativity in poetry writing to take shape in new ways — to have time and space to write poems, especially to reflect on where God is in the darkness we encounter. I had more time to read the Bible and to pray and to be listening to what God was saying through scripture. And as I called out, I heard God’s challenge to me to continue to love God when life is tough. God is there and carries us. I knew God’s love in the grim reality of pain, sleeplessness, and fatigue. Physically I couldn’t do much at all but I realized that I didn’t have to be doing, I could simply be in God’s presence. One particular poem I wrote encapsulated God asking, “Will you love me in this?” during the difficulties, and my calling out for God’s help and presence.

And so through this past summer, as I healed and slowly gained strength and purpose, I put together a collection of my poems and reflections for when life gets tough. I wanted people to know that God loves each of us just as much in the rock-bottom times as in the days of joy; that God never leaves us and never forgets about us. How amazing is that! 

My book is now being printed here in the UK. I pray that God will meet with the readers through my writing.