More From Carol Harrison

In my devotional on Joshua 1:9 I wrote, “We face many frightening moments, most of them beyond our control. Placing our trust in God helps us to conquer those fears and move forward.” I never anticipated all the fear-filled events that happened in the years that followed. Since writing the devotional about being courageous enough to cross a swinging bridge in 2019, this verse has needed to be put into practice over and over again.  

Crossing that swinging bridge happened pre-COVID. Then we all entered a lengthy time filled with speculation, fears, isolation, and a need to trust God through it all because of the unknown surrounding all our lives. For our family, the intervening years also brought about health challenges to cope with as my husband’s health declined. His cancer had spread a bit, but not enough to account for all his symptoms. The unknown causes, the fear of what might happen, and watching him in so much pain he could hardly get out of bed caused me to feel like there wasn’t much hope of spending a lot more years together.

Then a doctor discovered a serious infection, and treatment allowed him to regain some mobility and the ability to do simple things again.  My feelings of hope increased but continued to be tied to how I felt on any given day.

In the last year, the cancer has grown and spread to more of his bones. Then I began to experience health challenges as well. I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t think I could handle one more problem, and on my own I know I couldn’t. I had to remind myself that God hadn’t changed. God knew all about COVID-19 and my husband’s infections and cancer as well as about my challenges.

Feelings are not reliable; they change from day to day. Mine did. What I needed to remember each day were the facts about God and why I can trust God in everything. I took time to remember other tough times in my life and how God had worked even when I didn’t understand what was happening. If God worked then, God was working now. I could trust that unchangeable fact.

Our circumstances seem like the walls of Jericho must have looked to the people of Israel. I need to read my Bible to know what God says. Then I need to do what God asks me to do: trust God; obey God’s commands; then trust God’s promise found in Joshua 1:9. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (NIV).

God is with me while I watch my husband in pain and wonder how long I will have him with me. I’ll keep trusting our unchangeable, trustworthy God and cherishing the little things that make memories. Hope grows when I trust God and when I know I am not alone as I receive encouragement from others. God is good even in these tough times. God will make me strong and courageous and will never leave me.