More From Lei Cao Garcia-Bote

In John 11:4, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

I struggled to understand the meaning of this verse when my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2020. She was 74 years old. Pancreatic cancer is known to be notoriously aggressive, so the news of my mother being sick with it was terrifying. I thought, why is God allowing this bad thing to happen? John 11:4 kept coming to mind as I shared my honest feelings with God and questioned God about my mother’s condition.

A few months before my mother’s diagnosis, I studied the story of Lazarus in John 11 as part of our family Bible study. I had no problem appreciating John 11:4 then because I knew the ending of Lazarus’ story. Lazarus’ sickness did not end with his death because Jesus raised him from the dead.

However, when my mother got sick, the reality of death came near. Although very painful, I accepted that it could happen at any time. There’s no escape from the pain of losing my mother, but it became clear that I had to face it — no matter how difficult. But I was still confused why God wanted me to hold John 11:4 in my heart while going through this difficult situation.

My mother finished several cycles of chemotherapy with blood transfusions in between. Consultations with doctors became routine. My mother endured it all — the procedures, tests, and scans — as the pandemic continued.

The pain was agonizing and the fear of not being able to hug my mother again was almost unbearable. Prayer became my most reliable companion. The Word of God proved to be powerful, providing wisdom, guidance, and comfort. There was no way our family could have carried the heavy burden alone. God was our ever-present help and our solid rock of refuge and strength.

As my family experienced God’s generosity day by day, our relationships with one another became stronger than ever. My father continued to be a supportive husband to my mother and a loving father to me and my two brothers. As for my mother, her faith in Jesus was an inspiration to all. By the grace of God, she bravely endured everything. We humbly prayed for healing.

Then the days turned into weeks; the weeks turned into months, which turned into years. I didn’t even notice it, but my heart changed. The fear of death is no longer the focus of my concern. What I notice is the peace of God that transcends all understanding. The joy of having Jesus with us in the midst of suffering is undeniable. Jesus gives us his presence, which is more than enough for us to bless him and glorify him every day.

It has been three years and seven months since my mother was diagnosed, and she is doing so well. She enjoys cooking, reading, crocheting, and gardening. The latest scans show no permanent damage to her organs, and the pancreatic mass is not increasing in size. My mother is a living testament that Jesus still performs miracles.

There are moments when I still worry about my mother. No one can escape death. But Jesus is the giver of life, and he will be our guide, even unto death. Jesus is good and faithful all the time. Jesus and his glory will stand for all eternity.