When I set out to write a devotional for The Upper Room, I was not in a great place. My grandpa, who I was close to, passed away during this time and I was not only struggling at my job but also with my relationship with God.
Having my grandpa pass away reignited the fears I had about who will take care of me when I am old. This fear was difficult to hand over to God because I feel the world, especially in American culture, often views single people in a negative light. Sadly, I think the American church often glamorizes the nuclear family over the body of Christ, which includes all believers.
Although the concern about who will take care of me when I am old has not entirely gone away, I am learning to trust that God will find a group of friends to care for me when my parents are no longer around. I am happy to say that despite having Asperger Syndrome, I am trying to invest more in my friendships, especially with friends who are single.
God has not only blessed me with a new position at the dental lab that is less stressful than my old position, but I am also in charge of the employee newsletter which puts my writing skills to use. Also, I have a side job as a freelance writer with a couple of publications, including a regular gig with a magazine associated with the Rural Electrical Co-op Association in the state of Alabama, where I live.
More importantly, I am taking charge of my spiritual growth by learning to listen to God’s voice. Right now I am in the middle of a 30-day Psalm and Proverbs challenge where I allow God to speak to me through words that jump out in that particular passage and having God help me put those words together to reveal God's will in my life.
People with Asperger’s often receive negative feedback from society. As a result, the person with Asperger’s often becomes jaded. God has challenged me to think more positively by learning to speak positively in other people’s lives. Although it has not been easy, I feel more hopeful now than when I first wrote today’s devotional.
Anxiety is a side effect of Asperger’s and has always been a problem for me. Although I still struggle with anxious thoughts, I know that God is looking out for me. God knows that the idea of getting married and having kids is overwhelming to me. God knows what I need right now and is trying to teach me to not worry about the future.
Although I am what Hebrews 5:13 describes as a “babe in Christ,” others in my church have told me I have grown since I started attending. However, this particular credit does not go to me but to Christ and what he did on the cross. That salvation and Jesus’ finished work are better than any girlfriend, wife, or children for me.
I could not have found The Upper Room Moments of Prayer (on Facebook Live) sooner. For it is during these moments of centering spiritual practices, meditating on the words of scripture, praying with and for the world, that I find moments of transcendence, hear whispers of peace and hope, see glimpses of truth and justice, behold visions of love and beauty amid all the stark realities that are around me.”