Between Fear and Faith

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the Gerasene man whispering these words. How often has he come to the shoreline and thought about throwing his body into the waters of the deep that beckon him with the promise of an end to his torture and isolation? How often does he wonder why God has forgotten him?

The psalm continues to turn inward, to rehearse a script to share with God upon meeting: Why do I have to walk around sad, oppressed by enemies? What keeps us from actually taking this prayer to God? What keeps us turning it around within ourselves instead? We come back again, to the refrain of hope, as if this is the only way to approach God.

I know so many people who move through life this way. Sometimes I am one of them. To bring to light what is heavy and hard, what is depressed and sad can seem like an impossible task. The risk of ridicule, the potential for shame, the possibility of relationships cut off because of an inability to relate can keep many in silence about feeling lost and disconnected. It’s easier to hide behind hope than it is to own our despair.

But what healing is possible when someone hears us! The psalmist takes the time to write down these words as a way to say, “Me too. If you’ve felt this way, know that you’re not alone.”

We know that God does not expect us to dwell in our own negative emotions. Yet easily we forget. The caring and radical acts of listening, of presence, of non-judgment can be like coming face-to-face with God. Connecting with others connects us to God. How might you be called to connect today?