The Practice of Belonging

“Ubuntu ... speaks of the very essence of being human. ... It is to say, “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours.” We belong in a bundle of life. We say, “A person is a person through other persons.” —Desmond Tutu, No Future Without Forgiveness

The eternal words of the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu really help me with both the formational and ethical aspects of the practice of community. He writes, “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours.” While Tutu’s challenge is ethical (it matters how I regard the other), it is formational for communities as well. Community is an invitation to be formed by the other, to be changed by the other — and the other by us. Community is an orientation that begs us to consider each other as the core of our humanity, the center of our work.

Tutu beckons, Ubuntu is “the very essence of being human” — generosity, hospitality, friendship, care, compassion. The practice of being human is rooted in a profound experience of knowing that human belonging is an aspect of our createdness. No power or principality gets to vote on whether I belong; I belong as an aspect of my givenness to life. Thus, the spiritual discipline of community is the practice of belonging. We are invited to fully sense our belonging, our full-bodied belonging, our own and that of others.

The denial of belonging threatens community. When we deny belonging as an everyday practice, we fail at community because the other gets “othered” as old stereotypes play in our minds about whole groups of people. We need to consider how we deny another’s belonging — through flippant banter, church polity, or city ordinance — as a matter needing repentance and forgiveness. Acknowledging our wrongs and setting things right with people is also the practice of belonging.

One way The Upper Room creates space for community and belonging is The Academy for Spiritual Formation. In 2022, I attended a Five-Day Academy at Camp McDowell just outside of Birmingham, Alabama (pictured above). The great hall where we ate and participated in workshops is a beautiful space, with a huge stone hearth, giant wooden beams, an abundance of natural light, and a dozen quilts that line the walls. I was drawn to a particular quilt. Its colors are deeply pigmented, and its needlework is spectacularly detailed. That quilt (as many do) reminds me of community.

There is a grace at work among us, a grace-filled artistry creating a beautiful patchwork quilt of us all. Even while we unfortunately must negotiate belonging among ourselves, we are already given to belonging by nature of our birth. To deny another’s belonging is to deny God, the Great Quilter. We are invited to freshly imagine belonging as a function of humanity. And what is revealed is God, at work threading us together for the beauty of the earth for God’s good pleasure. What an invitation to belong to God and to each other in this good work!

Rev. Dr. Amy E. Steele is a social ethicist, ordained minister, Howard Thurman scholar, certified spiritual director, entrepreneur, and former Dean of The Upper Room Chapel. Dr. Steele is the founder of Olive Wood Partners, LLC, an organization dedicated to helping individuals and groups cultivate clarity, connection, and compassionate practice. Through Olive Wood Partners, she offers spiritual direction, executive coaching, continuing education courses, and special events. She is serving on the leadership team for the upcoming Two-Year Academy for Spiritual Formation #44 as covenant group coordinator.

Journal Prompts

• In what communities or situations have you most deeply felt that you belonged? 
• Who has helped shape you simply by being themselves? 
• How do repentance and forgiveness restore belonging? 
• Where is God inviting you into deeper community? 

Share your responses with others in the comments below!