Right Where I Am

For the past year I have been studying the life of King David. Some of this time has been spent examining his emotions and character in the Psalms. Since nearly half of the Psalms are attributed to him, there is a lot of material.

The Psalms are amazing. They do not just tell us about the writer; they tell us about our own hearts. They give us words to speak to God. They give us the courage to tell God what we really are feeling and going through without fear, without shrinking back.

When we are in a trial, in a fog, often we do not know what we are thinking. Then we can read a Psalm, maybe Psalm 13 or Psalm 69, and it is like a light has been turned on. That’s it, we think, That’s me. That’s right where I am. And now we know not only where we are at but, more importantly, where we need to go.

The Psalms are not tidy or neat. They are raw. They spill out. The Proverbs tell us how to live. The Epistles tell us how to think. But the Psalms tell us how to feel, how to pray, and how to approach our God.

When we think of David, we probably have a favorable impression of his life. He was a king, a great warrior, a poet, a musician, and he had lots of children and loyal supporters. But we need to look deeper. Nearly half of David’s Psalms are songs of lament. When we read the Psalms attributed to David, we see a much more vulnerable and conflicted person—someone lonely, depressed, anxious, and fearful.

Are we not all holding inside of us some unspoken pain? Don’t we sometimes search for a place to express our despair and anxiety? Life throws confusion at all angles. We need something to stitch it together in a way so that everything makes more sense. The Psalms do that.

Have we ever thought, Where are you, God? I’m struggling here. My heart feels like someone poured concrete into it. Am I ever going to get up again?

Then we read Psalm 13:1-2 (NRSVUE):

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day long?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

And we are like, “That’s me. Maybe more eloquent than I would say it. But, still, that’s me.” And then we get to the last two verses of Psalm 13:

But I trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

This might not turn us around 180 degrees and make everything rainbows. But it gives us hope. Things can and will get better.

David messed up—a lot. But he also did great things for God. That tells us that God is merciful, forgiving, patient, and powerful. God knows that we are weak, vulnerable, and prone to sin. But that is why God gives us abundant grace.

Please check out my website at www.disciplescorner.com. Thank you.