Uncomfortable with Grace

As a spoiled and somewhat pampered American, I have struggled with the whole idea of Lent. With its call to fasting and self-denial, Lent runs counter to my culture and the media messages that surround me. And I am probably not an outlier in this. Italian journalist Beppe Severgnini observed in his book Ciao, America! An Italian Discovers the U.S. that people in the United States are obsessed with comfort, control, and competition. But Lent calls us to surrender control of our impulses to the Spirit and to deny ourselves—to choose to make ourselves uncomfortable.
Lent makes me uncomfortable. I experience this liturgical season as a theological riddle that puzzles me every year. Lent leads us into the most amazing expression of grace we have, to what God has done for us in Christ. We talk about grace as God’s unmerited favor; but simultaneously, Lent asks us to do something to show our commitment to God. When I consider performance, inevitably I fall into the trap of measurement: Is my Lenten discipline substantial enough? Am I doing it better this year than last? And so on—all the opposite of grace.
This week’s scripture passages focus on the tension between grace and performance. They show us the absolute one-sidedness of God’s covenant with humanity, alongside the New Testament call to give up everything to follow Christ. I have long believed that the Spirit works in us at the point of our discomfort with people, situations, and ideas. If we turn toward the things that bother us, our unease can become a window to places we need God’s grace. Then we choose whether to allow that grace to shape and reshape us. Lent offers us this choice.