Relationship Matters

Respect. In this rapidly embittered world of Twitter wars, sound bites, and social media onslaughts, there is a critical need for the respect of others’ perspectives. It is comforting to know that we are not the first culture to face this challenge. David gives one piece of instruction for the commander of his army, “Deal gently with my son.” His advice is not to avoid justice, ignore the offense, or even let Absolom’s treachery stand. Instead David urges, “Deal gently.” However, Joab cannot honor his king’s request. Joab hears that Absolom is vulnerable, and he takes advantage of that vulnerability. Seeing the damage Absalom has caused to the nation, Joab simply cannot accept a gentler punishment. Israel is in turmoil, set ablaze at the hands of this traitorous king. Joab feels compelled to act decisively.

Joab kills Absalom as he is caught in that jagged tree. Joab’s actions are not a surprise. He is filled with rage, and his vengeance is real and premeditated. It is human and natural, but it is not beneficial. Joab lets his need for revenge cloud his judgment. What is fascinating about our reading is how quickly the rest of the men join in. They pile on and decimate the body of a man who is already dead. By doing this, they compromise their integrity and deeply wound their own king whose request they have totally disregarded. The warning to us is obvious. Our reactions impact not only our own lives; their influence reaches far beyond what we often realize. Add social media to our reactions and the reach is endless. May this lesson give us pause in our moments of anger. When we are offended, filled with a need for revenge, may we hear the Spirit whisper, “Deal gently with my child,” as we honor the image of God within those with whom we find fault.