More From Keren Dibbens-Wyatt

I’ve been thinking again since I wrote my original devotion, about what other seeds get planted in our lives. Jesus equates the beginnings of faith with a mustard seed, but wickedness too can begin with a small thing. One little desire or idea can eventually become something we do that pains us, others, and God.  

I might be hungry and want to steal someone else’s dessert from the fridge. I can think things like, It won’t hurt anyone, and, They’ll never know, until I eventually convince myself it doesn’t matter. Later, I find that my greed made my heart cold and let someone else go hungry, and all I was really left with was guilt and a stomachache. It’s good to root these bad seeds out of the soil in our hearts quickly before they can take hold.  In English, we say, “Let’s nip that in the bud,” but of course it’s better not to even let selfishness germinate. Yet, even when we fail, we can turn back to God’s grace in an instant. It is that seed of repentance that God smiles on and draws closer, blowing the chaff of our sin away.  

Lots of awful things begin small, like cancer, sickness, pride, or lust. Their growth is a process just like that of faith or love. Sometimes it seems as though these bad things have got the better of us or of God and God’s goodness. Just two days ago as I write this, we had to have our dear little cat put down. She had had cancer for a long time, and it was horrible. It seemed on that day, as though cancer had beaten her, had beaten us. But as I took my anger and sadness to God, I felt God impress something on me: because my husband and I had loved and cared for that sweet soul who bravely purred on right till the end, even through all the mess and suffering, it was not cancer that had won the day, but love. The sickness was dead, and our love for our pet continues, and always will.  

This encourages me with my own illness, which began small with a virus 25 years ago. It has grown and taken over my life, so that I am housebound and spend most of my time in bed. But it is not the only thing that has grown from a tiny seed in me. During these long, still years, God has brought to life a talent for art, and lots of writing, and books. And most importantly, I have nurtured a great love for God and a beautiful relationship with God through prayer. We must always take our small hopes and small beginnings to God. We can then remember that because of who God is and because of the Cross, whatever else happens, love always wins. Always.  

Keren Dibbens-Wyatt is a chronically ill writer and artist with a passion for poetry, mysticism, story, and color. Her creativity features regularly on spiritual blogs and in literary journals. Keren is the author of a book that was published in 2020. She lives in South-East England and is mainly housebound.