I wrote this meditation during the depth of the COVID-19 outbreak. As a nurse, I took the outbreak seriously. Like everyone else, I was frightened and grieving the loss of things I held dear. I was isolated with my dog, so we would take walks in the woods in the morning. Also during this time, in my morning devotions, I had come across the advice, “Be Sourced by the underlying movement.” I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded like a great idea.
In the woods a few days later, the concept began to take shape for me as I noticed life was continuing to evolve there. Branches I had broken off in the winter were blossoming, the sun was rising earlier, the days were becoming warmer—and all this despite rising COVID-19 numbers and other dreadful news stories. I was aware that there was a deeper, subtle life force moving through the woods that was holding me. Creation was continuing to evolve, and a greater Intelligence was moving behind the scenes and cared enough for me to provide glimpses of the continued evolution of life, which sustained and sourced me. This gave me hope and grounded me. Something beyond the mess around me wasn’t changing.
I began to trust that this underlying movement, aligned with divinity, was also at the core of my life—and I clung to it. I knew that whether I lived or died, I was part of something bigger and that God was keeping me. With my Companion in the sunlit glades, my Guide through this “desert,” I was sharing my feelings more honestly than ever before in the only safe space I could find. And it was here that I found resilience and brokenness. I was truly being Sourced.