Speaking from a Tender Heart

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. — Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

Irritation. How easy it is to fall into its trap when things don’t go our way. Right now, I’m fighting the temptation to become irritated as I navigate the process of transitioning from one phase of my life to another. Paperwork needs to be completed, and phone calls need to be made. Daily, there seem to be questions and follow-up that I must handle before resolutions are met and plans fall into place. It can be easy to lose patience with the person on the other end of the phone call or email. In weaker moments I may ask, “Why don’t they understand me?” Or worse, “Why don’t they just do their job?” But here’s the thing: if I become agitated with the person on the other side, it’s likely they will become agitated with me. That’s the law of reciprocity.

Sometimes lessons come in the most unexpected packages. When I was in college pursuing a degree in accounting, I was required to complete a course called “Administrative Management.” The gist of this course was to prepare us mostly eighteen-and-nineteen-year-old students for life in an office environment through teachings in time management, organization skills, report presentation, and so on. Yet the one thing I remember most from this course was what the professor proclaimed simply one afternoon: “Always answer the phone with a smile on your face. Your voice will sound friendlier and the person on the other end is sure to respond well toward you.” Wise words indeed.

I like to take this one step further, though, remembering some more wise words the apostle Peter shared in his letter aimed at Christians of his time who most likely also felt frustrations at their circumstances, “Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind” (1 Peter 3:8, NRSVUE)

For someone who makes a living handling other people’s issues, it must be a nice departure to be spoken to through a smile with courtesy and compassion. So at times when I feel frustrations and irritations taking hold of my thinking, I realign myself with the tender heart of Jesus and smile. Then I speak.